Thursday, March 21, 2019

What Makes a Person Worth Something?

I have been thinking about the underlying assumptions that led to the college admission scandals that have recently come to light. I am not up on all the details but basically it sounds as if folks were paying bribes to get their children into schools into which they would not have otherwise been accepted. I read an article about a young woman who was recruited to be on one of the top women’s college soccer teams in the country despite never having played soccer before. They never put her in a game but being recruited for the soccer team was apparently her ticket into the school.

There are a lot of issues involved. One is that the students whose families bribed their way into these schools made fewer spaces available for deserving students. Another is access to college in general as prices have soared. Even without having to compete with bribery, college feels out of reach for many families due to the expense. And there are also discrepancies in opportunity for college preparation based on school systems, etc.

And I wonder why admission to an “elite” school is so valued? Certainly some schools are generally better than others. And each school has its strengths and weaknesses. But there are a lot of places one can get a good education. Among other strengths, my undergraduate alma mater, Eastern Mennonite University, is incredibly successful at getting premed students prepared for and accepted into medical school. But no one is bribing their way into being admitted there.

But the part I find most disturbing is the message this sends to the student whose parents bribed her way into school. Essentially, the parents are saying “Who you are is not good enough for what we want you to be.” What must that do to the person being “helped?” Imagine the effect of having your parents pay a large sum of money to make you “good enough.” Are her parents going to bribe her way through the rest of life as well? It sounds like a perfect set-up for a lifetime of frustration, trying to be something she is not, always having to prove her worth.

One’s worth is not based on what college one attended or whether one went to college at all. When one of our children did not get accepted into their first choice university, there was some disappointment. But the other response was “It’s probably good. I’m not sure I could have kept up there anyway.” I thought this was an extremely wise and self-aware statement for an adolescent to make.
I have nothing against “elite” schools. I know lots of folks who have gone to them who are kind, generous, smart, and hard-working. But I also know folks who are all of those things who went to state schools, small liberal arts colleges, community college, trade school, and no college at all. We are all different with different strengths and weaknesses and it takes all types to make society work.

Encourage your children to pursue their strengths and interests. And always remind them of their inherent value as a person; not because they are the best, smartest, prettiest or whatever, but because they are who they are.

No comments:

Post a Comment