As I continued working, I began thinking about this more. It all happened so fast. Had I killed it intentionally or did I accidentally snag it with the weed eater? If I had seen him lying in the middle of the trail while out hiking or in the middle of the road and been able to observe from a distance, I would have just waited until he left, or maybe tossed some sticks at him to make him leave so I could pass. This is a different calculation, however, right next to my house where my granddaughter may be toddling around in the grass not too many months from now.
If it had been a black snake or garter snake (which are not poisonous), I think my reflexive reaction would have been to move the weed eater away from him to make sure I didn’t hit him. I have recently escorted non-venomous snakes off a road and away from a sidewalk to make sure they weren’t harmed.
I think the answer to my question is that my unconscious brain decided to kill it before my conscious brain had time to make a decision. We know that much of what we do is determined by our unconscious brain before our conscious brain has time to intervene. Much of what we do consciously is simply developing rationales for what our unconscious brain has already done, even when we think we are making conscious decisions.
So why would I have reacted differently to a black snake? Over the years, my conscious brain has trained my unconscious to not fear black snakes because they are not dangerous. When I see a black snake I often just stand and watch until it slithers off somewhere. Often this means five or ten minutes of just observing it. And over time my unconscious brain has gotten the message that a snake that looks like that (in the United States) is not a reason to fear.
This same process in our brains occurs with other things. How do you get over a visceral fear of a place, a situation, or an object? You place yourself in the feared placed, by the feared object, in the feared situation and eventually recognize that it did not harm you. How do you make that fear worse? You avoid the situation, object, or place and continue to think how scary it is, thereby fortifying the corresponding fear pathways in your brain.
This applies to people as well. Are there certain people you fear based on their appearance, the way they talk, what they wear, or your assumptions about the way they act based on their politics? The best way to get over that fear is to get to know them. The best way to enhance your fear is to avoid them and keep telling yourself why you should fear them.
How do we help our children not develop fear of others who are different? We have them interact with folks from different races, ethnic groups, cultures, religions, etc. so they can learn that people are just people.
Sometimes it is rational to be afraid of certain people in certain situations. But I think much of the rampant fear and anxiety in our society is misplaced. In some cases, it is detrimental to our children. And when we make decisions based on misplaced fear, we are unlikely to choose wisely.
