There has been a lot of talk about civility recently because
of events in the news and it reminded me of this string of incidents.
My parents have a sign in their front yard which says “No
matter where you are from, we’re glad you’re our neighbor.” This same sentence
is repeated in both Spanish and Arabic.
Shortly after the 2016 election, my then 79 year old father
was out in the yard. He had had several recent hospitalizations for heart
problems so his activities were limited. While he was in the yard, a man
approached him and began yelling at him about the sign. My father responded to
him with the word “friend” and was abruptly told that they were not friends. He
then tried to explain his view that all people are made in the image of God and
have intrinsic value and tried to discuss some of the reasons people come here
from other countries but he kept being angrily interrupted.
At another encounter several weeks later, this same man told my
father that “his kind” (elderly Mennonites with yard signs?) were not welcome here and would be run out of the
country. My father responded that he hoped they could talk more and eventually
become friends. Most recently at another chance meeting, the other man greeted
him by saying “Hi friend” and they were able to have a civil discussion.
In discussing it later, my father said he did not consider
the other man to be an enemy, just someone with whom he disagreed. But he also stated that even if
he was an enemy, it did not matter because Jesus instructed us to love our enemies.
This kind of love does not mean warm, fuzzy feelings. The
Apostle Paul defined love this way: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does
not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not
self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Imagine
a world in which we all took that approach with each other. Sounds nice,
doesn’t it? Sounds like a world in which an octogenarian could enjoy his lawn
in peace.
I
think civility is one of those things which is more caught than taught. Good or
bad, I often see reflections of myself in our children. Leaders have a duty to
model civility to their followers. Parents have a responsibility to model it
for their children. And we all need to be aware of what those around us may be
catching from us.
